Thursday, February 21, 2013

David's Curve



Picture an airplane taking off with one of those smoke bombs attached to its wing. The result will be a smooth curve going from the starting point on the ground upward slowly until the bomb runs out of smoke. Life's curve is generally expected to look like that. You start at birth, learn a lot of things, graduate, get a job, get married, have a family, get active in the community or a church. Eventually you retire and enjoy the grandkids. It's expected to be a gently rising curve from birth to death.
But my friend David says he never learned a thing from the gentle upward sweep of life's curve. He learned when the curve suddenly started straight downward. Some people think of that as failure. Some look at it as a learning experience. Thomas Edison was once asked about his many failures while trying to create a light bulb. His reply was that he didn't fail. He learned a thousand ways not to make a light bulb.
So the curve more closely resembles a saw blade. I think of it as "David's Curve". The down-drops are the experiences which equip us to help others in similar circumstances. They are times of learning, of testing, of making us into wiser human beings. The way to benefit from those times is to look for the lesson hidden in the experience and not to dwell on the chaos of the moment. For those who insist upon living those trying moments for a lifetime thereafter, life becomes a tragedy. They keep adding the down-drops as if a sum total of them were important. The lessons are. The trauma is not.
Once a person realizes that life is going along without them and that they would be better served to live where life is at this moment, the better off they will be. In fact, they might even realize that they are equipped by their experiences to bless others. Helping others is a sure cure for what ails you.

Now that's what life should look like!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

From Teabags to Friendships

As a teabag in hot water slowly changes the clear liquid to a colored liquid with flavor, so acquaintances slowly change to friendships. I'm not saying all acquaintances morph into friendships. Absolutely not. There has to be a special ingredient. The teabag contains dried leaves which are the catalyst for the change. In the case of acquaintances, the catalyst has to be respect.

Once the teabag has done its job, other ingredients may appear, like sugar, milk or honey. So with the infusion of respect in the acquaintance relationship, other ingredients may soon appear, like appreciation, esteem, honor, recognition, and perhaps eventually love.

"So what?" you ask.
 
Well, I write this as a heads-up to people who are diligently searching for the perfect mate. If your process can be described as seeing the potential mate for the first time and immediately floating off into la-la land, forget it! The number of lasting relationships that start this way are minimal. Long term relationships morph over time fed by the qualities listed above. The qualities must be revisited often to keep the relationship alive and growing.
Infusion must be on-going.